Half-baked managers fail to pass on their skills

Let me start by confessing how much I enjoy food.  I enjoy watching programmes about it, reading about it, anticipating it, cooking it and yes, I love eating it.  So, it was inevitable that sooner or later food would somehow creep into my writing about management. 

Two food-related things happened recently that got me thinking about why managers don’t pass their skills on to their staff.  The first was reading the article A National Tragedy - What Teens Aren't Being Taught.  In this, the author Denny Coates said that despite being a gourmet cook, his mother-in-law had not taught his wife how to make even the simplest meal.  The second was watching one of my guilty pleasures, Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA.  In this particular episode (season 5, episode 7), a father seemed reluctant to teach his son how to cook in the family-run Greek restaurant. 

We can only speculate why the mother did not pass on her culinary skills, as the reasons were not explored in the article.  Perhaps she didn’t want her daughter to encroach on her territory, or maybe the daughter felt no need to learn because her mother always did the cooking.  As for the father/son scenario, in true Kitchen Nightmares’ tradition, it took a lot of drama and an emotional showdown before we discovered that both parents felt their son lacked commitment following a monumentally insensitive comment he’d made several years before.

In management, failure to pass on skills or develop staff in other ways is a recipe for disaster.  Managers end up working themselves into the ground, becoming less and less effective; staff become increasingly dissatisfied, with the best leaving to find somewhere that will provide them with opportunities for growth; and organisations end up stagnating, relying on a limited pool of expertise and failing to keep up with the competition.

In many ways, the reasons why managers fail to develop staff are often the same ones that explain their failure to delegate.  Some of these are very logical: when you’re busy, it’s quicker to do something yourself than take time to explain what’s needed and provide the necessary ongoing support; and when the quality of the outcome is important, it’s safer to do it yourself than risk disaster by handing over to someone without the necessary skills.  Sometimes your doubts about the commitment or attitude of the people you manage may be entirely justified.

There could however be other factors at play: you enjoy doing whatever it is and don’t want any disruptions; you enjoy the feeling of being indispensable; you’re a control freak who can’t bear not to be involved; you fear your staff may actually turn out to be better than you; you’re afraid that if they become more skilled they’ll leave.   

Whatever your reasons for failing to develop your staff, it’s worth remembering that teaching other people to cook doesn’t diminish your skills in any way.  It allows you to be more selective about when you do so, keeping you fresh for those special occasions when your particular signature dish is required, and giving you time to experiment with new recipes.  And as your protégés gain skill, they will bring exciting new dishes to the table, ideas you never dreamed of but which enhance your reputation as well as theirs.

All these food metaphors have made me hungry – anyone for a little snack?

Tim Schuler is a coach, facilitator and business partner. He specialises in bringing out the very best in managers, whether it’s their first management role or something they’ve been doing for a while. More information is available from www.tschuler.co.uk

I’m really not very interested in your feedback at the moment, thank you

There’s a lot written about how to make feedback constructive.  It is, or at least should be, one of the first things new managers learn.  But sometimes, even the most well-considered comments fall on deaf ears or provoke an unexpectedly strong reaction.

Several years ago, I invited a builder round to size up various jobs around the house.  There were many reasons why I decided to reject his proposal, and although I could have just said I wasn’t interested, I felt he would want to know why – after all customer feedback helps businesses improve the service they offer.  

I spent a long time crafting my email, taking into consideration all the usual things said about how to make feedback constructive.  Rather than just passing judgement, I described the specific things I didn’t like about his proposal and the way he had communicated with me; I tried my best to balance the positive with the negative; and I referred only to things that were in his power to change.

With hindsight, it seems obvious that his response would be less than positive.  The strength of his reaction however is what makes it stick in my mind.  It consisted of a tirade of insults about the tiny hovel I called home, my prissy attitude and my complete lack of understanding about how hard things were for him. 

The builder’s less-than-constructive comments on my feedback taught me a number of important lessons.   With feedback, it’s not just what you say, or even how you say it.  You have to get your timing spot and you have to earn the right to give feedback as well. 

The timing of feedback is crucial.  No-one is going to hear what you have to say if they are distracted, tired or emotional.   It is always easier to judge this when giving face-to-face verbal feedback.  You can see their reaction and adjust what you want to say, or even decide to come back another time.   Sometimes however we have to provide feedback over the phone or in writing, when it is harder to assess and control the timing.  Although you may not know whether it’s a good time, you can always ask first and then only proceed if given the green light. 

It’s easy to think that being a manager or a customer automatically gives you the right to provide feedback.  While to some extent is does, people are more likely to listen when feedback comes from someone where a degree of trust has already been established.  If the relationship is poor or non-existent, the feedback may prompt some knee-jerk reaction but is unlikely to lead to any real behaviour change. 

When I provided feedback to the builder, my relationship with him was not strong enough to give me the right to launch straight into detail.  It also became clear that my email arrived at just the wrong moment, when he was struggling with domestic problems as well as a mountain of work.  If I had simply informed him that I was not going to accept his proposal, adding that I was happy to explain why if he wanted, perhaps he might have been more interested in what I had to say; perhaps not.   

Feedback is sometimes referred to as a ‘gift’ that the person on the receiving end can do with what they like.  Forcing an unwanted gift on someone however is perverse; it’s not just a pointless exercise, but says far more about the giver’s needs than their regard for the recipient.  Don’t do it, or like me you may end up on the wrong end of some well-deserved, old fashioned abuse.

Tim Schuler is a coach, facilitator and business partner. He specialises in bringing out the very best in managers, whether it’s their first management role or something they’ve been doing for a while. More information is available from www.tschuler.co.uk